In The End It's Right
by Athena356
Summary: Jeanie remembers an old promise...please r/r!


AN: don't own em. was watching season four and...spoilers for (mild) jeanie's departure, and spoilers for(major in plotline, minor in season) 4. enjoy!~~~thena   
  
  
~*~The setting~*~  
  
Three years from present, Jeanie's HIV is advancing. They have moved back to Chicago at Jeanie's request, but she is too ill to work at present.   
  
"How are you feeling today?"  
  
"A little better, Reggie. It's ok...I'm ok."  
  
"Don't be so brave. You want to come out to the park? Carlos wanted to go out and play."   
  
"You guys go. I'm kind of tired."  
  
"You sure you don't want to come? Carlos would be pretty happy. He misses playing with you."  
  
"I'm not feeling so great...I think I should rest."  
  
"Thought you said you were fine."  
  
"Reggie...please. I can't run around today. Maybe another day."  
  
"Ok, fine. I'll bring him in to say goodbye before we go."  
  
"Thanks, Reggie."  
  
"Feel better...don't forget your meds."  
  
"Do I ever?"  
  
"Guess not."   
  
~*~later~*~  
  
Jeanie sat up in bed, reaching over and opening the night table drawer. She searched through the messy drawer, looking...she hadn't had time to clean it. Odd when all she seemed to have these days was time. But maybe it was because she knew there would be so little left. She found what she was looking for, pulling out a small bundle of pictures.   
  
Jeanie grinned at a photo of Al, goofily wearing a hard hat and smiling. From way back when. Before life got so complicated. But this wasn't what she wanted..what she needed..to see. Tossing it onto the top of the night table, she moved to the next picture. A group photo from some birthday party of hers. Family, some friends..no one she still spoke to. She tossed that one on top of the grinning Al. She started getting to the ones she wanted to see. Her with Peter and Mrs. Benton. Not quite there, but close. And then, when she put that photo aside, she saw something she hadn't expected. A photo of Scott Anspaugh, right after he had finished his chemo. He had been so happy then...he was always smiling. He had berely had enough time to smile before he had to re-enter the world of hospitals, doctors, and nurses.   
  
She held the picture tightly, putting the stack underneath it aside. She could remember how much he had loved her visits, how she had loved them. Barely realizing she was doing it, she began humming "time of your life". She caught herself in the middle of the chorus. She could already feel the tears forming. Jeanie could see his smile...but another, more disturbing image came to mind. Scott's tears when he told her he didn't want any more chemo. He was so close to dying. So very close. And everyone had been presuring him to fight...and he didn't want to. But Jeanie remembered talking to him about going to California. Sounded like a great trip.  
  
~*~later~*~  
  
"Mommy!" Carlos came racing into the bedroom, amazingly energetic even after hours of playing.   
  
"Hey sweetie, come give me a hug!" Jeanie tried to be cheerful, and he couldn't tell that she was only pretending. "I think I'm going to get up and make you a snack. You must be hungry after playing with daddy for so long." She got out of bed and out on a robe, leading Carlos by the hand out to the kitchen.   
  
"Hi Jeanie, feeling better?"  
  
"Yeah, a little.." But she felt much worse than she had. She quickly cut up a small apple for Carlos and handed it to him. "Go wait in your room, and then I'll come for nap time."  
  
"A nap?"  
  
"Yes, silly, a nap! Go on, go eat your apple."  
  
"OK mommy." They watched Carlos scamper off to his room and Reggie smiled at Jeanie.  
  
"Reggie, I need to talk to you."  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"I think I need a vacation."  
  
"Hey, great, I got some time saved up..."  
  
"No Reggie." she said firmly, interrupting him. "I need to go alone. I...promised a friend. Before he died. We were going to go on vacation together."  
  
"He, eh?" Reggie was only mildly jealous. After all, she had said he was both a friend and deceased.   
  
"He was a kid. A patient. He had cancer, and he died...and we were going to go to California...it was just a daydream, I was his nurse while he was sick, and just before he died...we were talking. Anyway, I've wanted to go for a while, and I thought...Reggie, if I don't go now, I might never get a chance."  
  
"I know. But what if something happens while you're out there? I can't let you leave us. I can't let you go alone."  
  
"Let me? You're not letting me. I'm choosing."  
  
"You know what I mean."  
  
"I'll be OK. Even if I'm not...Reggie, I have to do this!"  
  
"ok, ok, take it easy. We can get you a plane ticket, if you're really serious." She shook her head. "You don't want to go?"  
  
"Not a plane. A Viper."  
  
"Jeanie..."  
  
"A Viper. Colbalt blue with racing stripes."  
  
"Are you listening to yourself?"  
  
"I am. Are you listening to *me*? I have to do this, and I have to do it right. I promised Scott."  
  
~*~4 days later~*~  
  
"You did it, Jeanie. You found a Viper. You found a colbalt blue Viper."  
  
"And got someone to paint racing stripes on it."  
  
"I don't know how you did it."  
  
"Because I needed to. I'm going to get going."  
  
"Are you sure...I guess you are."  
  
"Yeah. Give me my baby." She took Carlos sadly in her arms. "Bye baby...I'm going on a little trip. I'll be back very soon."  
  
"I'm not a baby!"  
  
"No, you're not. You're my big boy. I'll see you in a few days."  
  
"Can I come?"  
  
"Not this time, Sweetie."  
  
"Oh." Jeanie put him down carefully and looked at Reggie. She hugged him tightly.   
  
"I'll see you soon."  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I love you too. Goodbye."  
  
"Send us a postcard from California."  
  
"Of course. If anyone from County calls...tell them I'll be back soon."  
  
"Of course. Bye."   
  
The goodbyes seemed rather abrupt, but that was how the whole thing was. Sudden. Jeanie got into the car and waved to her family before backing out of the driveway.  
  
~*~on the road~*~  
  
Jeanie could feel the wind flying through her hair as she crossed the state line into California. *I really made it* she thought. She turned to look at the empty seat next to her and an intense wave of loneliness passed over her. She imagined Scott sitting there, laughing and joking. That would have been doing it right. She pushed the thoughts aside as she drove, blasting the CD, skipping back to the beginning of the song when it ended. One could get tired of Green Day after a while, especially the same song over and over. But she somehow had to keep it on the entire time. Without it, this wouldn't be a trip for Scott. She sang along, quietly at first, but by the time she entered California she was singing at a deafening volume, almost as loud as the CD. After a while of the scenery of California, she reached the beach towns. Not knowing how to surf, she settled for watching a sunset on the beach. Letting the music blast, leaving the keys in the car, she walked down a narrow path to a beach, closed for the day. The music was loud and clear even al the way down on the beach. She climbed into the lifeguard chair cautiously, settling to look at the sunset. She'd been practically chasing the sun all the way to the beach, praying that it wouldn't set before she arrived. It was a beautiful sunset, and her view wasn't obscured by the usual skyscrapers and El in Chicago. The painted sky reflected in the water, dancing over the calm surface. As it began to get dark, Jeanie climbed down from the chair, crouching in the wet sand and letting her feet sink into it. She put a finger with a manicured elegant nail into the sand, scratching out a large "S". She continued, writing his name out in smaller letters. When she had finished, she stood up, tears in her eyes, and walked back to the lifeguard chair. She watched in the fading light as the waves came and washed his name away. Only when it was completely gone and the sand was flat once again did she get down and walk to her car.   
  
The music blasted and Jeanie sang, feeling sicker as she did. She'd been in pain and tired since she started out. *So this is it* she thought. *this is how it all ends. singing Green Day on a road somewhere in California.* She knew that if they ever took the trip, it would be for Scott to die. He'd known that too. That he was dying, and dying quickly. But this trip was for Jeanie to die. She tried to convince herself that she could make it home, but the truth was, she felt like dying here. Driving until she reached a nice neighborhood, she saw a group of mothers walking with their babies in strollers. She turned the volume of the CD down and stopped near them. "Excuse me, but where's the nearest hospital?"  
  
"Are you OK?"  
  
"Fine, just need to get something checked out. I'm new here, and...you don't want my life story. sorry." Jeanie was surprised by how easily the lie came to her.  
  
"Perfectly alright. St. Luke's is down on Main Street." The young woman gave Jeanie directions. "And feel better."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
~*~  
  
"Thank you, Dr. Jennings. I'm feeling better now."  
  
"You get some rest and I'll be back to check on you in a little while."  
  
"Sure, that's what they all say. It's pretty busy here, I won't hold my breath." Jeanie smiled weakly.   
  
"OK, you got me, it might take a while. Can't fool you." Dr. Jennings smiled and left, leaving Jeanie alone in the exam room. She sighed and stood up, carefully pulling her IV behind her, knowing she should be in bed. She walked to the wall, where a phone was mounted. Reaching up slowly, as not to disturb her IV, she took the reciever and dialed Reggie's desk at work. He was surely home with Carlos, but Jeanie didn't want to speak to him directly.   
  
"Reggie, it's me...I'm in the hospital in California. You were right. I'm not doing too well. I love you...both of you. I'm sorry, I know I wasn't well enough to do this, but...I had to. Kiss my baby for me. I'm sorry." Jeanie hung up the phone, wiping the tears from her eyes with her left hand. She grabbed the IV pole and walked back to her bed, arranging everything as it had been. Enough years in a hospital and you get the general layout of a room, the IVs...everything. How it was supposed to be. *What am I doing? Reggie...he took a desk job to watch Carlos. He gave up everything for me. I should go back to them.* But Jeanie knew she would never make it back, and she would end up in a hospital somewhere between San Fransisco and Chicago. And that wasn't the plan. The plan was to be in California, no matter what. For Scottie. *Beam me up, Scottie* she thought, trying to force herself to laugh. It didn't work. From her experience at work, she only had a few hours left. She sighed and settled back into bed, waiting for the inevitable.   
  
~*~ 2 hours later ~*~  
  
"Dr. Jennings, she's crashing!" The young doctor raced into the room, followed by 2 nurses and an eager med student.   
  
"She's in V-fib! Can I..." The student motioned to the defibrulator in the corner.   
  
Dr. Jennings shook his head sadly. He turned to the 4th year student, who had never seen this before in his almost 2 years at the hospital. "She signed a DNR as soon as I came to see her."  
  
"So what do we do now?" The med student asked, thoroughly confused.   
  
"We wait." Dr. Jennings stood by Jeanie as the med student and nurses stepped backwards, knowing they could do nothing. "Time of death 12:22." Dr. Jennings said as they all let out a collective sigh. They hadn't realized, but they'd been holding their breaths.   
  
*Beam me up, Scottie.* She thought, and she would have smiled if she could have, but it was impossible. She was already gone.


End file.
